>Sender: >To: >X-Original-Message-ID: <12cc01bf0bdd$723531f0$9acf69cf@pacbell.net> >From: "Peter McWilliams" >Subject: DEA wrong again? We can dream, can't we? >Date: Fri, 1 Oct 1999 00:20:31 -0700 >X-Mozilla-Status: 8001 >X-Mozilla-Status2: 00000000 > > >The DEA, which has been wrong about almost everything from its Mission >Statement to the value of a marijuana plant, posted this on its web page >(printed in full below). > >http://www.usdoj.gov/dea/other/y2kcompstat.htm > >You'll note it is not saying it is YK2 ready--not at all. Just more DEA >jargon covering the truth, which appears to be delightfully dour. Having had >some experience in translating DEA-speak, here's what its really saying. MY >COMMENTS IN FULL CAPS. > >"DEA YEAR 2000 COMPLIANCE STATEMENT FOR INTERNET" > >Attorney General Janet Reno has stated that the Department of Justice "is >addressing Year 2000 aggressively and has established January 1999 as its >target date to be in full compliance with Year 2000 requirements." > >A TARGET DATE IT HAS OBLIVIOUSLY MISSED BY TEN MONTHS NOW, ACCORDING TO MY >WATCH. > >As a major component of the Department of Justice, > >ALAS > >the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) has established a Year 2000 >Project Office whose goal is to ensure that our employees and business >partners are protected from issues related to Year 2000. > >THAT'S ALL THE DEA KNOWS HOW TO DO: ESTABLISH AN OFFICE AND ARREST PEOPLE. >NOT THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY OF DEALING WITH COMPUTER GLITCHES. BUT THEN, IT'S >NOT THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY OF DEALING WITH DRUG ADDICTION, EITHER. > > DEA is confident that both the actions we are taking and the way in which >we are approaching the issues related to Year 2000 will position us >effectively to deal with the complexities of Year 2000 compliance. > >DO YOU SMELL AN ABSOLUTE LACK OF ANY PLAN WHATSOEVER HERE? > >In particular, the Controlled Substances Act (CSA) System and the Automation >of Reports and Consolidated Orders Systems (ARCOS) have been assessed for >Year 2000 issues and remediation and testing have been completed. > >TWO MINOR SYSTEMS. QUESTION: HOW MANY SYSTEMS ARE NOT BEEN COMPLETED? >ANSWER: ALL THE REST. > >DEA's Year 2000 Project will remain ongoing until we are entirely confident >that the millennium date change will not result in any interruption in >critical services or negatively impact our business partners. > >WHICH MEANS IT WILL BE ONGOING UNTIL "THE YEAR 3000 PROJECT OFFICE" IS >ESTABLISHED IN 2999. > >PERHAPS THE DEA'S INHERENT INEFFICIENCY WILL PUT ITSELF OUT OF BUSINESS AT >MIDNIGHT ON JANUARY 1, 2000. > >WE CAN DREAM, CAN'T WE? > >HAPPY NEW YEAR! > >ENJOY, > >PETER > > > >================================================================ > >This message is sent to you because you are subscribed to > the mailing list . >To unsubscribe, E-mail to: